Unhappy 4/20


Tim White, PhD, LPC, NCC offers advice on family planning and parenting, LGBT issues, disability issues, education and work issues, relationships, ethics and “unusual” social issues. Send questions to Tim for future columns through his website.

Hi Tim,

I’m a man, 30, in the financial field with a great career, wife and two children. Life is good. I have a very minor dilemma, and I was hoping you could give me a fresh perspective. My little sister, a hipster, recently gave me an unusual 30th birthday gift; a bag of marijuana. Judging from her description, it is “primo” and I should expect to be high as a kite for hours at a time. In fact, she shared with me that I’m too uptight and need to loosen up. Instead of simply gifting me a membership to yoga or a massage or something, she chose to place in my possession a substance that’s still quite illegal in our state, even for medicinal purposes. That’s enough reason for me, but I can also cite personal experience to support my choice. During a phase of poor choices as a teen, I tried smoking pot in high school a couple of times, thoroughly hated it, and came to my senses. Now, presented with this gift, I’ve come to reflect on the reasons for my displeasure in receiving it. The legal/ethical part is easy; Pot isn’t legal here, and is strictly forbidden by my employer. Morally, how could I possibly lie around and get high, and then expect my children to make good choices about their own lives? So what to do with this gift? Try it again just to be polite? Give it to someone else so they can make bad choices? Throw it away? Give it back and make my case? Please advise and thanks.

- Nonsmoker

Hi Nonsmoker,

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